Lean on God, not your own understanding.

A lot has changed in my life while I’ve been in Ethiopia. For the past three months, I have been really praying about what God wants me to do with my life. I thought I was doing everything right, but I felt like something was off. Like something wasn’t quite right. So I prayed that God would give me direction in my life, and that He would show me what He wants me to do. I also prayed that it would be really obvious. I realized that sometimes I get so caught up in trying to do everything myself, that I miss out on God’s plans. For those who know me, I like to have a plan. Up until a week ago, I was pretty set on my 10 year plan. (I know I’m a bit of a freak) But I like organization. I like knowing what I’m going to do and when I’m going to do it. The truth is…I haven’t had a whole lot of control in my life. I’v moved around three countries, three languages, three cultures, and never had a choice in the matter. I don’t know, maybe that’s why I like to plan my own life. But, what I never realized…Was that no matter how amazing my day dreams about my future life are, God’s plan is so much more amazing! I know that God has a better plan, and I know that He does everything for the better, but my sinful nature is inpatient. I find myself trying to “get by” with my own plans just because I am unsure or maybe scared of where God’s plans will take me. I found out a week ago that Liberty housing filled up and they closed admissions. Before I could register. Yup, that means I wont be going to Liberty this fall.  I’ve always anticipated going to Liberty, I knew who I wanted to room with, (we had been planning this for two years) and I knew what I was going to study…Graphic design…..Yes..I know..Your probably making a face right now and going “why would Tory go into graphic design, that’s completely not her.” You see, you’re actually quite right. I think I was going into graphic design because I wanted to do something. Anything. I was going to go to college. I was going to study something. I didn’t care what It was, but that was my plan and I wasn’t going to change it. Well, God did. I told him to make it clear to me what He wanted me to do. Well, He gave me an answer. Even if it wasn’t the one I wanted…there were a lot of things that started to make me think about my life on this trip to Ethiopia. Everything we did was never ever on time. Everything was extremely late or extremely early. That made me realize that I need to just stop trying to organize everything and control everything in my life, and just give the reigns over to God. Because He can do such a better job with my life than I ever can. I also realized that maybe with the graphic design major, I was just wanting to make a decision. Instead of waiting till God led me to something, I just wanted to do it all myself. Right now! God wants us to be patient, to trust Him, and trust that everything He does is for the best. So, maybe I’m not going straight off to Liberty..But there must be a reason why God wants me to stay home for a little bit longer.  I just need to remember to keep in mind that He has my whole life under control, and all I have to do is trust Him.

Until my next life adventure,

Tory. <3